What Makes a Therapist a Good Fit

Often, therapists talk about being the right fit for clients and how clients need to find a therapist that is the right fit for them. Sometimes, that can be unclear because you may not know what makes a therapist a good fit. A good fit between a therapist and a client means that they can work together to get to the client’s goals and healing in a natural and effective way. You may want to consider several things when trying to figure out if a therapist is a good fit for you. You may want to consider the therapist’s expertise, the therapist’s personality, and the therapeutic environment that the therapist creates.

Your Therapist’s Experience and Knowledge Matches Your Issues

You want your therapist to be knowledgeable about what you are seeking therapy for. This is because you want them to be equipped to help you. Not all therapists have equal skills. Similar to medical doctors, psychotherapists have areas of specialization. Although therapists can treat a variety of clients and issues, they can’t do this equally well. Many therapists have decent skills in working with common issues like depression, anxiety, and stress. But other problems, including trauma, grief, marital conflict, chronic illness/pain, and work-related issues, are not as easy to treat and need more specialized training. If you are not sure, ask potential therapists whether they have training and experience in working with your issues.

The Complexity of Your Condition

The more complex your issue is, the more likely you will benefit from a therapist who specializes in that particular issue. For example, with chronic pain, you may want someone who understands the stigma that someone with chronic pain may be dealing with, the frustrations with the medical system, the exhaustion of being in pain every day, and the skills to reduce the pain. There are also a lot of therapists who know how to deal with simple, single-incident PTSD but don’t necessarily know how to wade through the many symptoms and complexities of complex trauma. You want someone who can work with the complexities of your experiences and symptoms.

Dealing with Multiple Conditions

Sometimes, you may be dealing with multiple conditions or issues and want to address more than one in therapy. If that is the case, finding a therapist specializing in the conditions or issues you wish to address is advisable. Often, therapists specialize in several issues or conditions that are interconnected. For example, therapists who specialize in chronic pain often specialize in issues that frequently co-occur with chronic pain, like trauma, depression, anxiety, and sleep issues.

Treatment Need or Accommodation Need

You may not need treatment for all the conditions you struggle with. Sometimes, for well-managed conditions, you may need your therapist to accommodate or consider your other conditions, even though they don’t need treatment. For example, someone who struggles with chronic pain may need their therapist to realize that they don’t have the same amount of energy as someone who doesn’t struggle with a chronic condition. Another example is someone who has ADHD may need that condition considered when creating treatment plans or considering coping strategies even though it does not need to be treated.

Lived Experience vs. Therapeutic Training

Therapists can have either lived experience, therapeutic training, or both. When a therapist has lived experience, they may be more in tune with some of the more subtle challenges of that condition. It doesn’t mean that someone who doesn’t have lived experience won’t be able to relate to aspects of your experience with that condition. Still, they must get it from somewhere else. Some examples are learning from previous clients, volunteer work, or other experiences and inputs. Even if someone has lived experience with a similar condition, they may still need to learn the most effective skills and strategies for your condition.

Therapeutic training that is specific to a specific condition, experience, or issue enables a therapist to gain strategies, techniques, and knowledge that they might not otherwise gain to help a client with that specific condition. These trainings are usually based on research and clinical expertise, allowing your therapist to learn skills and strategies that can help you heal. When a therapist has done a variety of trainings for a certain condition, it often allows them to be more flexible if something doesn’t work for you.

Common Life Experiences

Often, having a therapist who shares similar life experiences can help your healing process because your therapist gets what you are going through and can help you find little things that can really help you. This can come from having similar conditions, spiritual beliefs, or interests outside of mental health, such as hobbies or activities you enjoy.

Your Therapist’s Level of Openness Fits What You Need From Them

Different therapists are comfortable revealing different amounts of personal information. This is about how much information you need to know about your therapist to make therapy effective. Some people with trust issues may not feel comfortable revealing sensitive information if they don’t feel like they know their therapist. This is more about you, what you are comfortable with, and what level of openness by your therapist will allow you to engage in therapy most effectively.

Blank Slate

Some therapists believe it’s important to be a blank slate for their clients and refuse to reveal any personal information. Think about what it would be like to experience a therapist you didn’t know and whether you feel comfortable discussing very personal details with someone who doesn’t share anything back.

Limited Personal Information

Some therapists believe that sharing limited personal information and personal experiences is the most effective. They may share limited information about their personal lives so that their clients can get comfortable with them and a relationship can thrive. Still, they have boundaries about what they will and won’t discuss.

Open Book

Some therapists are open about their personal lives and experiences. They still have some boundaries around normal no-go areas, but other than that, they will answer clients’ questions about their personal lives. This type of openness often allows clients to feel that their therapist is not hiding anything from them, but it can come with more boundary risks.

Your Therapist’s Personality and Approach Fits What You Need from Them

Different therapists may approach the therapeutic relationship in different ways. Some are more directive in session, while others are less directive. So, it’s important to figure out what you want from your therapist and whether their personality and approach fit that.

Therapists who draw from Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT) and similar approaches will often be goal-directed, active, and collaborative. The work will be focused on achieving your goals for therapy together with the therapist acting as a guide through techniques, exercises, and homework.

Person-centred therapists often will generally avoid offering techniques, tools, and assignments, instead favouring an approach that will help you explore and discover solutions to your own problems. 

Other therapists may offer a mix of the two. They may provide techniques, tools, psychoeducation, awareness building, and processing. For example, trauma therapists often seek a balance of psychoeducation and skills, making sure the client feels heard, building awareness, and processing trauma.

There’s not an approach that is always right, but some approaches may not be suitable for you and your needs in therapy. For example, people struggling with trauma or emotional neglect often need skills and psychoeducation as part of the healing process.

You Feel That You Will Be Able to Engage Therapeutically With Your Therapist

Essentially, therapy is a relationship, and your therapist is someone you feel you can work with. Even if you don’t feel you can trust them initially, as the therapeutic relationship grows, you could build that trust and work with them on your healing journey. Therapy is often uncomfortable because it usually requires facing up to painful difficulties, vulnerabilities, and life patterns. The person you are working with on your healing journey must be someone you can work with and feel they understand you and what you are going through.

Therapy is a professional alliance with the primary goal of helping you improve your life. It isn’t a friendship or a romantic relationship and shouldn’t feel like one. Boundaries within the therapeutic relationship are important to create safety and expectations.

It can be difficult to discern whether the therapist is a good fit for your healing journey from an online profile, a free 15-minute consultation, or even an initial session. You may need a few sessions to figure that out. People are unique, and not all people have the same needs, so not all therapists will be suitable for you and what you are coming to therapy for. You need to find a therapist who fits your needs right now.

Do Your Therapist’s Policies Fit You?

You may ask yourself how reachable you want your therapist to be. Some therapists have a strict “no contact” between sessions, while others allow quick contact with questions between sessions. Some DBT therapists offer quick phone skills coaching between sessions if needed. What matters is that your therapist’s policies fit you as a client and your healing process.

Consider looking at your therapist’s cancellation policy to see if it fits your needs. Most therapists will offer to waive late cancellation fees for emergencies, but beyond that, it can differ. Some therapists require 48 hours’ business days’ notice (meaning if you need to cancel your appointment on Tuesday morning, you need to cancel by Friday morning), while others have 24 hours’ notice. Some have fee adjustments according to how far ahead you cancel, while others have only one fee. If you have a chronic condition or a busy life, that may mean you want a therapist with a more flexible cancellation policy.

The last policy should be apparent. You want to make sure your therapist’s availability matches your life. If your therapist’s schedule makes seeing them hard, that is not a good situation.

Why is Finding a Good Fit Important with Your Therapist?

Therapy often involves exploring your vulnerabilities and doing this effectively. There needs to be a measure of comfortability in the relationship and the belief that your therapist can help you achieve the goals you are bringing to therapy.

Conclusion

Several things can be considered when finding a good fit with a therapist. It’s about finding a therapist you can team up with to make your therapeutic experience effective.