Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect

Childhood emotional neglect is subtle because it is mostly about what didn’t happen rather than what did. This means that you may not identify what you experienced as emotional neglect, and the first indications of it may be in how it has affected you. If you can relate to the signs of childhood emotional neglect, it can be helpful to look at the experiences of emotional neglect and see if they fit with your life. Awareness is the first step of healing.

What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?

Childhood Emotional Neglect is a parent’s failure to respond enough to the child’s emotional needs. It’s usually an act of omission. It is subtle and overlooked while it does its silent damage to your life.

Children who experience emotional neglect have a unique set of struggles. Because your emotions were not validated as a child, you may have difficulty knowing and trusting your own emotions as an adult.

You may have difficulty understanding both your own and others’ feelings. Since your emotional self has been denied, you may find yourself feeling disconnected, unfulfilled or empty. You may feel like you are different or that something is wrong with you.

Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect in Children

In Children

These are the signs you may see in a child who is facing emotional neglect:

• Low self-esteem.
• Difficulty regulating emotions, easily becoming overwhelmed, outbursts of anger and frustration, frequent tantrums, and/or disruptive behaviours.
• Developmental or cognitive delays, academic struggles, and/or poor performance at school.
• Shame or guilt around emotions and/or chronic guilt.
• Insecure attachments, negativity toward parents, and/or aversion to affection or accepting support.
• Social withdrawal, poor peer relationships, and/or inability to experience empathy,
• Difficulty paying attention and/or inability to self-discipline.
• Difficulty trusting new people, disassociating from affection, and/or significant fear of rejection.
• Physical manifestations of emotional pain and/or dissociative tendencies.
• Difficulty in self-expression and/or speaking in a cold tone.

From Parents

These are the signs you may see from parents emotionally neglecting their child(ren):

• Indifference to a child, ignoring a child’s needs, pretending a child doesn’t exist, and/or apathy toward a child.
• Viewing or labelling a child as a burden, constantly calling a child ‘bad,’ and/or blaming a child for their behaviour.
• Parental substance abuse and/or mindless or uninvolved approach to parenting.

Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect in Adults

These are the signs you may see in an adult who experienced childhood emotional neglect:

• Difficulty identifying, expressing and managing emotions.
• Difficulty with self-compassion but plenty for others
• Feeling numb or empty
• Difficulty with trust
• Difficulty relying on others, fear of being dependent, and/or never asking for help.
• Unrealistic view of self, feeling different than others, and/or issues with self-doubt
• Overreacting to conflict, staying in unhealthy relationships, and/or having trouble establishing boundaries.
• Chronic self-blame, guilt, shame, self-directed anger, and/or judging yourself harshly.
• Easily triggered and/or easily overwhelmed.
• Feeling fatally flawed, sensitive to rejection, and/or difficulty being assertive
• Perfectionism and/or people-pleasing.
• Experiencing Additional Traumas and other Mental Health Concerns

Quiz for Childhood Emotional Neglect

If you are wondering if you have Childhood Emotional Neglect, there is a quiz you can take at Jonice Webb’s website here: https://drjonicewebb.com/cenquestionnaire/

Conclusion

If you can relate to the signs of childhood emotional neglect, it can be helpful to look at the experiences of emotional neglect and see if they fit with your life. Awareness is the first step of healing.