The Damaging Consequences of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can have devastating consequences for the victim. Unfortunately, the damage continues after the emotional abuse is over. There are ways to counteract and heal the damage done by emotional abuse.

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is generally defined by behaviours or tactics that control, manipulate, isolate, or harm another person. It involves many tactics meant to leave you feeling powerless, hopeless, and helpless. In some cases, emotional abuse can be so subtle that you don’t realize you are being gaslit or manipulated. Emotional abuse can cause various effects on your emotional, mental, spiritual, social, and physical health.

Emotional abuse can happen in the short term or over many years, such as during childhood or the course of a romantic relationship. You might be more likely to experience the impacts of emotional abuse if you’ve dealt with these behaviours for many years as a child or an adult. However, abuse can affect you even if you experience it once, you aren’t aware of it, or you don’t think it affects you.

What are Some of the Consequences of Emotional Abuse

What are Some of The Consequences of Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse can affect your emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health. It can affect how you relate to others and your worldview. It can affect people in many different ways, and the pattern of its effects will be unique to you and your experiences.

Emotional Abuse Consequences in Childhood

• Behavioral changes. Children may “act out,” become abusive towards other children, and show signs of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
• Self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
• Emotional development. Emotional abuse interferes with emotional development, which may result in difficulties in emotional regulation, being less emotionally mature than peers, and difficulties with trust.
• Maladaptive coping. Emotional abuse can lead to the development of unhelpful ways of coping, such as numbing, dissociation, and avoidant behaviours.
• Attachment issues.

Emotional Health Consequences of Emotional Abuse

Attachment challenges

The damage done to a child’s attachment system through emotional abuse often persists in adulthood unless it has been treated or had sufficient corrective experiences.

Emotional Disconnect or Apathy

Often, people who have been emotionally abused pass it on to others or disconnect in order to cope.

Difficulty Being Authentic

Emotional abuse can be internalized and cause you to second-guess yourself, which makes it hard to be authentic.

Fear of Abandonment

People who have experienced emotional distance as a manipulation tactic often have anxiety and fears of abandonment around the possibility of losing their support system.

Trust Challenges

Past emotional abuse can make it harder to trust others, even if they are supportive and compassionate, or yourself.

Isolation and Loneliness

Emotional abuse can cause you to isolate in an effort to protect yourself.

Confusion

Emotional abuse can cause you to question yourself, what is real, and who you are because it can break down what you know about yourself and your place in the world.

Fear When Interacting with Others

Emotional abuse can make you question yourself, fear making mistakes, and be apprehensive when interacting with others due to your lack of confidence.

Feelings of Powerlessness

Emotional abuse can cause feelings of powerlessness when your abuser makes you question your reality and makes you feel like you’re less deserving or valid than the people around you.

Low Self-Esteem

Emotional abuse can wear down your self-esteem, leading to feelings of worthlessness. It may make you feel you are less deserving than others.

Self-Doubt

Emotional abuse, especially gaslighting, can make you question your own thoughts, abilities, and perception of reality. You may lose confidence in your own instincts, feelings, and yourself.

Shame

Emotional abuse can make you feel ashamed of who you are, what makes you unique, your likes and dislikes, and your hopes for the future. It can stifle parts of your identity as you associate shame with them.

Mental Health Consequences of Emotional Abuse

Suppose you’ve experienced emotional abuse for a while. In that case, you might inadvertently think these behaviours should be expected from partners, family, or friends. Chronic emotional abuse could affect how you see yourself in relationships and your tolerance toward certain behaviours.

Social Anxiety

Emotional abuse can lead to social anxiety disorder because the abuse creates feelings of shame and, inadequacy, self-criticism that lead to more fear when interacting with others.

Depression

Emotional abuse in childhood is strongly linked to depression; this is due to your abuser’s behaviours undermining your capacity for self-compassion and fostering shame.

Eating Disorders

When emotional abuse leads to high levels of self-criticism, it can develop into an eating disorder, such as binge eating, bulimia, and anorexia.

PTSD and Complex PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex PTSD (C-PTSD). Emotional abuse can cause symptoms that meet the criteria for PTSD or Complex PTSD.

Neuroticism

Emotional abuse can increase the likelihood of having a tendency toward low mood and negative emotions like anger.

Spiritual Health Consequences of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can affect your spiritual health through spiritual abuse or other general consequences of emotional abuse.

Spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse is a type of emotional and psychological abuse where abusers use spirituality as a weapon to manipulate or control others. It can affect how a victim interacts with their religious community and faith.

General consequences of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can lead to disconnection, lack of trust, and difficulties in being authentic, which can interfere with your connection to your spirituality.

Physical Health Consequences of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can leave you under chronic stress that can bring a number of consequences, including:

• Chronic pain. Emotional abuse could increase your chances of developing chronic pain, such as low back pain, headaches, and migraines.
• Fibromyalgia. Emotional abuse can lead to the development of fibromyalgia, which can be connected to unresolved trauma.
• Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Emotional abuse has been found to predict IBS.

The Consequences of Emotional Abuse on Your Relationships and Worldview

• Codependency. Long-term emotional abuse can make you feel as if your needs don’t matter as much as everyone else’s. This can lead to codependent behaviours or ignoring your own needs and boundaries. You might also engage in people-pleasing behaviours or tend to establish relationships with abusive partners.
• Self-neglect. Emotional abuse can make you neglect your own needs to please the other person and avoid conflict.
• Negative view of the world and others. Emotional abuse can affect how you see the world and other people. The world may seem less secure and safe. You may question if other people are trustworthy. Everything can become scarier and more dangerous.

Why is Emotional Abuse so Damaging?

Emotional Abuse Affects the Brain

Long-term emotional abuse can potentially impact your brain, especially if the abuse happens during childhood when the brain is still developing. These are some of the ways research suggests emotional abuse can impact your brain:

• Emotional understanding and empathy. Early emotional abuse could cause changes to the hippocampus that make it harder to empathize with the emotions of others.
• Self-awareness. Emotional abuse is linked to the thinning of certain areas of the brain that help you manage emotions and be self-aware — especially the prefrontal cortex and temporal lobe.
• Epigenetic changes and depression. Research from 2018 has connected childhood abuse to epigenetic brain changes that may cause depression.
• Stress response. Childhood abuse can change certain genes in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, an area of the brain involved in the stress response.

Effects of Emotional Abuse on Self-Image

Emotional abuse can change the way you view and relate to yourself. It causes consequences and damage beyond its own lifespan. It creates damage to a person’s self-image that sets up a pattern of assaults on their inner being that can last for years. You may struggle in your current life because the present is filtered through past negative messages and experiences.

Emotional abuse can steal away the good parts of who you are and replace them with false truths and negative images. It attempts to take away your personal power and sense of self so your abuser can take control and benefit.

View on Life and the World

Emotional abuse can distort how you see life and the world. You may see life and the world as more dangerous, less stable, and more frightening due to the emotional abuse you experienced. This can be exhausting. You are always on edge, trying to protect yourself in many ways.

Lack of Emotional Security

Emotional abuse takes away your sense of security, safety, and value. Emotional abuse can manipulate your sense of what is normal. It takes away the sense of order in life and knowing what lies ahead. When you feel that anything could happen, there is no security.

Fear and Anxiety Become Normal

The loss of security from emotional abuse can lead to an ever-present feeling of anxiety or fear. Safety may be non-existent. You are never sure what each day will hold.

Shame and Guilt Become Part of Your Identity

Emotional abuse tries to define part of your identity as being bad, flawed, stupid, unwanted, or worthless. It points to you as what is to blame for what is happening to you. The guilt and shame you feel is a false emotion created by the warped views, ideas and attitudes of the emotional abuse you’ve endured.

Self-Directed Anger and Blame

When emotional abuse robs you of your security, you deal with fear on a daily basis, and the oppressive weight of guilt and shame crushes the spirit. Often, the only response left is anger, and that anger is pointed inward.

Persistent Depression

Emotional abuse can eventually turn to depression, where the victim gives up on emotions because they have become so damaging. The energy it takes to deal with emotional abuse and stay buoyant is exhausting. Some people just run out of strength and slip into the pit of depression. When there is no way to escape from the abuse, they curl into themselves, isolate and implode their world.

How Can You Heal From Emotional Abuse?

Healing from emotional abuse is about undoing the damage to the self, healing the trauma and inner wounds, and learning to care for and respect yourself. This is not an easy task and will take time.

Healing Emotionally

Healing emotionally can be through understanding how the emotional abuse happened, learning and healing your emotional system, and improving your ability to regulate your emotions.

Self-Doubt, Blame and Shame

People who have been emotionally abused struggle with self-doubt, blame, and shame. It can be a slow process to heal these struggles. Working with someone who will enable them to see their value and worth.

Remember That It’s Not Your Fault

You are not to blame for the emotional abuse you endured. Your emotional abuser is the one responsible for their actions.

Finding Your Own Identity

Getting back in touch with your own identity after experiencing emotional abuse is a vital task. Knowing who you are and believing in your ability to make good decisions is essential.

Social Isolation

An essential part of healing the scars of emotional abuse is to connect with caring friends and family.

Establishing Boundaries and Respecting Yourself

Learning to respect yourself and establishing boundaries is an important component of future healing and well-being. Realizing you are worth establishing boundaries and caring for.

Healing Your Inner Wounds and Trauma

Finding healing for your inner wounds and trauma from emotional abuse can be an essential part of the healing process. This may include seeking therapy and modalities like EMDR, EAET, Flash, DBT, and CBT.

Conclusion

Emotional abuse can have devastating consequences for the victim. Unfortunately, the damage continues after the emotional abuse is over. There are ways to counteract and heal the damage done by emotional abuse.